Finding one’s place..

It took one of my clients 19 years to realize they had left their home country. By the time we talked about it, they were already living in their fourth country.

Another client took 7 years to arrive to a new country. Everybody’s pace is very different.

These arrivals and departures are not so straightforward.

And to return to a country that once was home is not so easy either. At one point I was considering returning to Latvia, or moving to yet another country. Both felt equally difficult. In the 20+ years I was away, none of my close friends stayed there. The Latvian language is fading after two decades of not using it. Even my mother tongue, Russian, I am forgetting.. The only thing I still know is the city. Many street names are gone, but my visual memory is strong and I can find my way around. That’s it. Most of the connections, or connectors, are gone. A strange feeling, to be something in-between a guest and a local in the city where I grew up.

The person who was departing for 19 years: it was because most of those goings away were temporary. An educational program for a year in one place. Part of the higher education in another place. Some temporary work contract elsewhere. Work related prolonged stay somewhere else. A relationship started and ended.. but in between those beings away there were also some stays at home. However the last stay there was after a good 5 or 6 years.. being in their childhood room, looking at all those things that were waiting for them to come back.. that’s when they realized: actually I have left already, and that was 19 years ago.

And that room suddenly felt like a museum of life that never happened.. because other life was happening in parallel.

So often, when we have packed and moved our boxes to a new place, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we have either arrived or departed. It’s a bit more complicated than that.

Which country are you actually in right now?

Have you arrived?

Have you left?

Is there a room somewhere still waiting for you, quietly, filled with a life that has not happened?

If this resonates and you’d like to explore questions of arrival, belonging, or what it means to feel at home inside yourself, in 1:1 sessions or as part of a group, reach out to me. I see clients online and in Lyon, and I am open to leading workshops on time, presence and belonging with organisations, schools and small groups.